A lingering question
October 17, 2011 kimbershome
Why am I here? It is a rhetorical question that I ask myself several times a year usually when I am going through something that seems to make no sense in the grand scheme of things in my life.
The sad part is that I’m no closer to an answer then when I first asked the question over forty years ago as a young child caught up in the ugliness of my parents’ divorce.
Many of us spend our whole lives seeking the answer to this question that for some never presents an answer. I for one don’t think that I will know in this lifetime the true purpose of my existence or the relevance of my life. All I know is that I am here and although there have been times when I have been at odds with that statement forces much stronger than I have intervened and kept me here.
What has brought about this line of thought you ask? Could it be the Religion 101 class on the Old Testament that I just took or the paper we did on Esther who was born ”for such a time as this” that once again led me to question my identity, my life’s path, purpose or even my worth? Or is it the culmination of challenges I’ve had to face the past few months? I’m not sure. Why not both? Was I born for such a time as this to mother the children in my care or have the choices in my life led me to this point and now I must chose the next course of my life? Has destiny orchestrated events that have led me to this point and will continue to guide my path if I but wait patiently for the next step to be revealed?
Does it matter why I am here more than what I do with my life while I am here? I don’t know I guess I’ll just have to keep plugging along waiting to see if things will be revealed over time. In the meantime, I have today to get through, tomorrow to think about and yesterday to ponder.
Entry Filed under: my feelings, my thoughts and tagged: destiny, life, pondering, questions
